Gas station etiquette

Dear pickup-driving dude at the local Gas-N-Sip,

I was able to turn a blind eye to the fact that you had turned around to more easily access the gas cap that was on the wrong side of your vehicle. Because after all, today is "Wild Monday", so we can all go nuts and save eight cents on a gallon of gas, which is akin to ordering a Greasy McLard with a Diet Coke because - what else? - you're watching your weight. I mean, what's more wild than facing the wrong way at a gas station while saving eight cents a gallon? IT'S INSANITY, I TELL YOU!

I also tried to turn a blind eye to the fact that you had left your lights on, except for the fact that my eyes were already blind. The larger-than-normal tires on your larger-than-normal pickup truck meant that your higher-than-normal headlights were not shining on the asphalt in front of your truck, but were instead scorching themselves into my corneas, doing permanent damage to my optical nerves in the process.

It's even not that huge of a deal that you gave me a minor coronary by momentarily starting your gargantuan pickup truck - used, I'm sure, to fell forests, shift small buildings on their foundations and generally terrorize anything with fewer than 18 wheels - and lurching it towards me as a result of your piss-poor job of backing up to the gas pump in the first place. Although now that I think about it, you've REALLY got to be parking-deficient not to get your gas cap close enough to reach it with a 10-foot hose.

But when you LEAVE YOUR ENGINE RUNNING while refueling that behemoth of a machine that probably has chunks of exhaust bigger than me coming out its tailpipe, that's where I draw the line. Do you not realize that we're sitting atop enough combustible material to create a fireball visible from NEPTUNE if your gas guzzler gets indigestion from choking on low-grade eight-cents-discounted petroleum?